I have the best news.

The best.

You know how despite my highbrow tendencies I like to watch reality TV? A lot and constantly?

And you may have heard that there’s a new reality TV on Lifetime, Russian Dolls– which has been described as a Russian version of Jersey Shore (heads up– anything those Jersey Shore assholes can do, Russians can do better. And blonder.)

Well, I was invited to a premier party for Russian Dolls.

I KNOW!

I am so fucking exciting. (Edited: err.. and EXCITED)

I just have to get the right outfit.

And some green eye shadow.

I will, of course, report from the Red Carpet. (There’s a RED CARPET!) OH NO! Will it clash with my green eye shadow?

Stay tuned!

I’m turning into some kind of a paparazzi (paparazzo? pepperoni?). First, last week I ran into Picasso on the subway, and then today I saw Jenna Bush at Starbucks. The way things are going, I’ll be coming to fisticuffs with Sean Penn by the weekend.

But back to today.

So, I’m at Starbucks at Rockefeller Center, waiting for my beverage of champions and then I notice that Jenna Bush is standing next to me, waiting too.

The way this Starbucks works is that when you get into the line to pay, the Starbucks assistant takes your order and your name, and when you get to the front of the line, you pay and then you wait in the reception-like area for your name to be announced. So there is a lot of waiting and also a lot of opportunity for deception. Like, you could ask the Starbucks assistant that you want a triple Venti no foam latte with 24-k gold shavings and then when you go to pay, say “oh, just a tall decaf” and get away with murder, but I’m too scrupulous to risk it. Also, I just this minute thought of it, so who knows what tomorrow will bring.

So both Jenna and I were standing there, waiting for our drinks and I kept thinking “I know it’s her, she works for NBC now” and then trying to figure out if I could casually snap her picture with my BlackBerry. But unlike with Picasso, I couldn’t pull it off. Because she was standing right in front of me.

Then her drink came first and they announced “Jenna!” I was surprised that she didn’t use a pseudonym. Like Barbara. Then they announced my drink “Marinka!” and I took it as a sign that I should approach her and ask her if I could take a picture.

So I did.

Because I’m always thinking of how to make the people who read my blog happy.

And she said “sure, would you like to get into the picture with me?” Which is totally one of those gotcha! questions that Sister Sarah Palin is warning us about. And I said “oh, no!” and then I tried to find the camera feature on my BlackBerry.

And then I got really worried that she’d think that I didn’t want to be photographed with her because I think that her father should be indicted for Crimes Against Intelligence, so I decided to add, “I’m just not photogenic” and then I got nervous that she’d think that I was the type of person who walks up to the famous and fishes for compliments, so I added “I’m not photogenic compared to you! You are really photogenic.”

Finally a miracle happened and I was able to locate the camera feature on my phone, she smiled and I snapped. I mean the I snapped the picture, not that I snapped. Although it’s early in the day, so stay tuned for further updates on that.

I thanked her and she was very gracious and said that it was nice to meet me. I wanted to explain that that wasn’t the real me, that I am much more gracious and charming and, oh, maybe I’ll just write her a letter instead. I have the newspaper and scissors right here.

I’ll just have to get some glue.