It’s time, once again, for I’m Right, You’re Wrong–a post where I share a disagreement that I had with a loved one and ask the internet to weigh in. To protect the scientific integrity of this process, I don’t disclose which position I support.

This week’s dilemma is brought to us by the tragic news that Kim Kardashian filed for divorce after merely 73 days of marital not-exactly-bliss.

We are all processing the news in our own way, of course, but one thing is certain: each of us will remember where we were the moment that we heard the news. It is the story that we will tell our grandchildren, when they nestle on our lap and ask us about that dark day in the closing months of 2011.

There are many questions that remain: Was Kris really blindsided? Is living in Minnesota so awful that you have to leave the person you in order to avoid it? Did Kim and Kris really never have the conversation about their life together? WHAT THE FUCK WAS KRIS WEARING WHEN SHE WAS ON THE TODAY SHOW?

"Kim married for $love$!"

But when all those questions get tossed around, the one that remains is this–

Dilemma: Was the whole Kim Kardashian wedding and subsequent divorce staged? Like for ratings and cash and general whoredom?

Disagreers: Mama and Marinka

Position One: No, it was not staged. Kim Kardashian is certainly not a spokesperson for making wise decisions, but I think she did intend to marry for love and all that other stuff that makes people insist that marriage should be an exclusively heterosexual right.

Position Two: Ridiculous. Of course it was staged. Normal people don’t have huge wedding of century and then part ways a few months later. Did she not know the person she was marrying? Were they forced to get married? No. They did it for money and to make more morons watch stupid show.

What do you say? And what, if anything, can we do, as a nation, to heal?

I’m turning into some kind of a paparazzi (paparazzo? pepperoni?). First, last week I ran into Picasso on the subway, and then today I saw Jenna Bush at Starbucks. The way things are going, I’ll be coming to fisticuffs with Sean Penn by the weekend.

But back to today.

So, I’m at Starbucks at Rockefeller Center, waiting for my beverage of champions and then I notice that Jenna Bush is standing next to me, waiting too.

The way this Starbucks works is that when you get into the line to pay, the Starbucks assistant takes your order and your name, and when you get to the front of the line, you pay and then you wait in the reception-like area for your name to be announced. So there is a lot of waiting and also a lot of opportunity for deception. Like, you could ask the Starbucks assistant that you want a triple Venti no foam latte with 24-k gold shavings and then when you go to pay, say “oh, just a tall decaf” and get away with murder, but I’m too scrupulous to risk it. Also, I just this minute thought of it, so who knows what tomorrow will bring.

So both Jenna and I were standing there, waiting for our drinks and I kept thinking “I know it’s her, she works for NBC now” and then trying to figure out if I could casually snap her picture with my BlackBerry. But unlike with Picasso, I couldn’t pull it off. Because she was standing right in front of me.

Then her drink came first and they announced “Jenna!” I was surprised that she didn’t use a pseudonym. Like Barbara. Then they announced my drink “Marinka!” and I took it as a sign that I should approach her and ask her if I could take a picture.

So I did.

Because I’m always thinking of how to make the people who read my blog happy.

And she said “sure, would you like to get into the picture with me?” Which is totally one of those gotcha! questions that Sister Sarah Palin is warning us about. And I said “oh, no!” and then I tried to find the camera feature on my BlackBerry.

And then I got really worried that she’d think that I didn’t want to be photographed with her because I think that her father should be indicted for Crimes Against Intelligence, so I decided to add, “I’m just not photogenic” and then I got nervous that she’d think that I was the type of person who walks up to the famous and fishes for compliments, so I added “I’m not photogenic compared to you! You are really photogenic.”

Finally a miracle happened and I was able to locate the camera feature on my phone, she smiled and I snapped. I mean the I snapped the picture, not that I snapped. Although it’s early in the day, so stay tuned for further updates on that.

I thanked her and she was very gracious and said that it was nice to meet me. I wanted to explain that that wasn’t the real me, that I am much more gracious and charming and, oh, maybe I’ll just write her a letter instead. I have the newspaper and scissors right here.

I’ll just have to get some glue.