I am on spring break in Florida!
It is very palm-treey and baseball-y and warm and nice.
I haven’t slept more than a few hours at a stretch and am completely exhausted.
There are two reasons for this.
First, I’ve spent 99% of my life living in apartment buildings, so sleeping in a house, where anyone can just come in and murder is unbelievably stressful. And because I don’t want to be surprise-murdered, I keep waking up every few hours to take my vital signs to make sure I’m still among the living. Last night I was trying to relax with a novel before bed but unfortunately one of the characters decided to recount the Sharon Tate murder, for NO APPARENT REASON. Seriously, it had no real point in the book, he just mentioned it in passing, perhaps as a foreshadowing for my own story.
I’m also under tremendous stress because the house we rented is home to an unfortunate spoon situation.
The soup spoons are super huge and the teaspoons are super tiny. Here, I took a picture:
Apparently I’d also like you to admire my coin collection. I’m worried that the soup spoon doesn’t look freakishly huge and the teaspoon doesn’t appear unnaturally tiny, but let me reassure you, they are. Just remember that the camera adds at least 15 lbs. and probably subtracts a few ounces from the tiny teaspoon.
Here’s the back view.
It’s really hard to relax on vacation with that kind of flatware crisis. A sub-crisis is that I don’t understand why “teaspoon” is one word and “soup spoon” is two words. A secondary sub-crisis is that “soup spoon” is actually one word and a tertiary sub-crisis is that I’ve never seen the word “soupspoon” or “soup spoon” written or spoken and it’s really beyond me why this hasn’t been addressed on a national level.
I’m worried I’ll never sleep again.
Wish you were here!
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