Yesterday I had an alarming conversation with Young Ladrinka.
It was in two parts.

Part One, Young Ladrinka informed me that a friend of his used a curse word, “the V word” to be exact. When I made the universal “I am of such pure mind that I do not know what of you speak,” he pointed downward and said, “You know, a girl’s nuts.” (When I related this conversation to mama, she said “I don’t envy his wife” because, apparently according to mama, “I like your girl nuts” is not a good pick up line.)

So I thought nothing of it, genitalia is genitalia and he’s a bit too young to go to Vagina Dialogues, so whatever.
Except then, Part Deux:
As I was tucking him in at night, he said, “Ow, your elbow hurt my nuts.” Which was weird, because unless his testicles are now growing from his shoulders, I could not have touched them. But then I thought “what’s with the nuts this-nuts that business?” So I asked him, and he said, “would you prefer that I said PENIS?” and I said that I’d prefer that he said TESTICLES and he said, “What are they?”

I started to explain, but he meant, no, where are they on the body, so I said, “Under the penis” and he said “Testicles are under the Nuts? I thought those are Balls.” “No,” suddenly I am a nobel laureate in anatomy, “Nuts and testicles and balls are all the same thing?” And he said “How can Penis be the same as Balls?”

And no matter how many times, or how loudly, I explained that nuts are not penis, he would not accept it.

This is why this shit needs to be taught in schools.

My blog is going through changes, a sort of menopause.

Which means that on some days, like the last two, I’ll been posting twice a day. A main post full of wisdom and social import, and a second mini post in the afternoon, devoted to a Young Ladrinka quip or comment. Yes, I know, I have two children, but since, “Mommy, this week, please send my allowance to help the people of Haiti” is a typical contribution from my daughter, I am officially rejecting her as blog fodder.

To ease the pressure on you, gentle reader, I am going to close comments on the second, shorter post. But you will still be responsible for the contents for our weekly quiz and of course on the final exam. So skim at your own peril.

And yes, I’m very well aware that now that I’ve put it out there in the universe, my fingers will fall off, I’ll lose internet access and Young Ladrinka will take a vow of silence. In which case, we’ll resort to Nicki news.

Nicki news so far: I’m worried that she’s forgotten how to make Meow, because I haven’t heard it at all recently. Although maybe everything has been going according to her wishes, so she’s had no cause to complain.

And finally, I want to add a “weight loss/exercise” category to this blog, but I can’t think of a catchy name. It’s hard to top catchy category titles like “John” and “Kids”.