Do you know from the hell that is Elf on the Shelf? Well, I wrote about it last year and over the past week or so I’ve noticed that it has been getting some traffic. Which is normal, I guess- a masterpiece will often find its audience. Oh, and maybe it’s also Elf on the Shelf season now, too (which apparently is not the same as Elf on the Shelf Hunting Season. GOOD TO KNOW.)
Here are some search terms that have landed people on my Elf on the Shelf post. Read them and weep. For humanity. And then hug your elf. If you have nothing better to do.
I’m guessing because he’s an inanimate object.
Haters gonna hate.
Let me guess: He didn’t move.
He’s a minor! Hands off, please.
Yeah, but he’s not the one Googling this shit online.
Hey, words hurt…inanimate objects.
Hello, ten foot pole! I’m not touching this one with you. Love, Marinka
Oh yeah? Well, why don’t you sit on the shelf and see how smart you are!
Yeah, that’s what you think! And it certainly wasn’t watching you sleep or anything!